So the weekend has arrived.
64 hours of relaxation, (not that l count every hour) and not having to worry about the shrill screeching of an alarm to make me panic jump out of bed. Maybe l should stop hitting that snooze button.
If only that was the case. For my peacefully Saturday is a pre booked first aid class. Not only do l have to contemplate giving up my precious "me" time, l am going to be enclosed in a room full of strangers who will pass around a dummy that somehow replicates a living, breathing person. Now don't get me wrong l have nothing against our fellow human beings whom l share this amazing world with, but do l really have to appear to be in full control as someone stimulates a car wreck and relies on me to calmly assess who needs my attention the most. Not having ever been put in that position and can safely say l hope l never do. How on earth do l know how l would react? l could have a melt down on the spot and become a casualty myself, although l doubt the paramedic's would consider me a priority, unless of course l am the one who faints and becomes unresponsive.
Some might say that l am bit more worldly than most, as l have had the privilege of living in Africa, where l was constantly warned about the lurking dangers of creatures that just lie in wait to pounce and cripple me into a withering body of pain. Of course that lost its image as l moved to the colder climate of UK. Then l was duly reminded that the bitter cold made up for lack of dangerous animals and at anytime l could be rendered helpless as l sat trapped in a freezing car with nothing more than my icy breath for company. l think that scared me more than finding a spitting Cobra wrapped around the toilet in Africa that l desperately needed to use (the cobra won).So l moved to the Sunnier climate of Australia and hey presto, l am now surrounded by some of the most dangerous creatures in the world again, but that is another blog.
Our instructor has nothing but praise that we have taken the steps to voluntarily put ourselves on the front line. I vehemently deny the voluntary side of things quietly to my petrified looking companion whom unwittingly sat in the chair beside me.
There is not alot more the instructor can do to highlight how important our role is in society today and by the end of it, we will be armed to the teeth, with knowledge on how to respond to any catastrophe that crosses our paths.
Call me a sceptic but half my class look like they would have more pressing issues in their lives like who just left a message on their facebook and a random twitter brings a smirk to their inattentive faces. But we plough on valiantly through the precious hours of Saturday. There is something undignified about bending over a pretend unconscious person and yelling at imaginary bystanders to call emergency. Of course remembering the sacred rules of accessing your situation first. My instructor is openly enthusiastic with our attempts and only briefly raises an eyebrow as my phone scoots out of my pocket and makes its escape under the surrounding chairs to which l have to scrabble on my hands and knees to retrieve. Things go a bit more smoothly with the splints and bandages although l doubt l would normally have any of these to hand if l were in the street. l don't make it a habit to carry them in my handbag. The rest of the day was broken into different segments that would help a person in distress and lunch was an enjoyable interlude of sitting in the sun and watching the world scuttle pass. Our instructor left the best til last. The magical defibrillator. Now there is a thing that could come in handy. I could think of quite a few people who could use it as a kickstart in getting their good for nothing ass off the sofa and getting a life instead of sponging off the rest of society. Apparently it is only to be used as a life saver. Which l could have argued that in a certain way it would. A good conditioned defibrillator can pack a good 700 volts to a weakened heart muscle. Now that was interesting......