Monday, 17 September 2012

Not a Luxury

So the sun is shining, and just sitting makes you sweat. Not to worry that's why you bought a house with a pool.
If only it was that easy. A pool has more mood swings than a woman. What appeared to be a clear sparkling oasis of joy, can turn mean and green (no pun intended) within one day. Well not quite but unless lovingly cleaned, preened and balanced to the inch of your life, you will pay dearly.
That winter that you ignored it, because it hid under a pool cover.... expect pay back to hit you tenfold.
Because you see, those who are envious of us, who decided it was such a brilliant idea, will spend as much money as it takes to adopt 3 kids, 2 dogs and a goldfish.
 I can just see the pool shop owner  rubbing their hands with glee, as you meekly take your sample bottle to the counter and they run it through their state of the art technology.
With the shaking of the head and peering over glasses, you brace yourself for the reprimand that follows the glare, of how have you let this happen. Or it could be a look of, "Oh boy this is going cost you a packet!"
After the lecture and strict instructions, you not only walk out the shop, feeling like you have just been called to the headmasters office. You are now armed to the teeth, to kill every germ known to man kind and probably anything that so much as touches the water in the next 8 hours.
Now comes the science part. If you are a man... ignore all instructions and just tip any amount that seems close enough to create the given effect, don't worry to much about the fact that the water seems to have turned a funny shade of white and a mist of poisonous gasses seem to be rolling across the surface like a mysterious fog. Somehow this will dissipate and you will be able to see the bottom of the pool again.
If you are a woman..... read instructions carefully, put containers out of reach of any small children, animals and including husband. Go and dress in clothes that won't disintegrate on contact, wear gloves, mask, and goggles. Read instructions again and go into melt down. After discovering that the chemicals that you are about to expose your family to, were the same kind used as mass destruction. Go and make a cup of tea and weigh up the odds of how really bad it would be for family to change the pool into a pond for carp. Whinging from family out weighs the odds on pool being a pond. Re access the dangers and come to the conclusion that pool company wouldn't be a secret weapon from the government, to keep down the population. Follow instructions carefully, holding breath in case of being overcome by fumes and not being able to cook dinner that night. Mission accomplished, pool becomes part of the family entertainment again. Quick note to self.... look up in yellow pages how much a pool man will cost, might be worth giving up a few real luxuries.

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